The Dangler

Been pretty busy with going out, failing, driving, visiting, working to find work, etc, but its finally come to a head. Karma or God has found it in themselves to bless me with several hooks in the past few days. All from the internet. OKCupid, AdultFriendFinder and Craiglist. I had sworn off internet as a means to get laid, but then I shut up and listened to my dick. My dick is a wise man.

The Dangler is from Craiglist. On my Twitter I mentioned a chick with a dirty mind but a hamster that ran the Boston Marathon in 1 1/2 hours. That’s her. She’s Asian, like dark skinned islander or Thai or something Asian. We talked on AIM for a couple days. It was full of dirty talk and some normal convo, but mostly sex. When I told her I wasn’t looking for a relationship and went on about how my past screwed me up, she was more interested. I should of saw it before, but I didn’t until we had parted ways last night.

I was in LA to meet some TV people, an old friend and her friend, and talk some shop to try to get me a job. Afterwards, I met an old family friend and we went of for hours about everything. A really cool woman. I thought I’d get stuck in LA and texted The Dangler that I may not make it. But by the time the beer and food ran out with the old friend, it was 7. I had time to rush the hour from Santa Monica to Upland, as long as the I-10 didn’t fuck me over like it usually did.

So I made it a few minutes early. It was a Starbucks in some suburban Upland mall. I grabbed a hot chocolate (I’ve had bad experiences on dates with coffee) and as I was paying, her comes a chubby, but cute girl, looking very dolled up. I know its her, but I don’t react. I put away my credit card and grab my drink.

“Jordan?”

“Yeah?”

“Hi, I’m The Dangler.”

“Oh hey!”

We go outside and talk for a while. She’s asking question after question, trying to get inside my head. I answer. I’m forward about my opinions. She even called me mean once when I was criticizing the horrid dance numbers of Lady Gaga. I know the rule about letting her talk to get comfortable, but she kept shooting off rapid questions about everything. I just went with it. I asked a few back. Then we started to take a walk.

Now, she had talked about parks nearby. Parks where we could mess around. She had told me to keep her in line because I agreed for a date instead of just a hookup (I was pretty drunk when I made this deal) and she seemed like a slutty, but clingy type of girl. I was fine with that. I wanted the slut and I could handle the cling. Not far into the walk we passed by some sprinklers and I got sort of soaked. I asked her if she wanted a wet hug, she starts touching me and my shirt and I go in and get the kiss, which she returns with vigor. But it doesn’t last long. What does last long is our hand holding.

SNAP! Son of a bitch! I should of saw this coming. But no matter. I push forward!

I keep trying to pull her to dark areas of the residential neighborhood. She refuses, but I keep on. Eventually, I realize, we’re back at the Starbucks. I offer to drive us to one of those parks she mentioned, but she laughs and says “Aw, not tonight.” She gives me a few of those really odd, awkward push your face in kisses, then goes to her car. As soon as I get in my car, I say to myself “Goddamit!” and laugh. I played her game and her ASD went up. She sees me as a damaged guy to fix. A future good boyfriend to show off to the family. Well played, woman. Well played.

I won’t see her ’till at least week from now. Visiting family until the 26th. Now that I know her game, I can play around it and get that ASD to fall like the Berlin Wall. This isn’t Maria where I liked her too much and hesitated. This is a mission. And I never, ever fail what I put my mind to.

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One response to “The Dangler

  1. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: In Absentia Edition

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