People are always afraid. They’ll tell you fear is a good thing, but that is a lie. A myth told by fearful leaders to fearful servants to do abnormal things for abnormal reasons. They say courage is busting through fear and accomplishing what you were told to do. Courage is stepping out the line of fire and letting the general take a bullet or two, not stepping in front of the man and taking one for the team. There is no team. There is no collective. There is just you and your decisions. No one around you can account for anything that you do and in a bind, they may just hold you to what you’ve done when it suits them.
Can you ever truly hold someone to a standard? No. Principles kill. Principles ruin lives and break good men down to a set of rules passed down from hypocritical father to addict son. A rapid escalation of dumb ideas until the culminate in the death of empire. There is an A that swirls around everyone. Deep down in the grey matter neurons and electrical sparks of the mind. It says do what helps you. Do what makes you happy. Do it for the gold. Grab her by the scruff of the neck and lead her back to the place where the deeds are done.
I read on Roosh’s board that some follow the path to the point of absurdity. They want cunt, they want to get in deep, but they’re so lost they’ll do whatever it takes to be further from themselves. Its not healthy to repress yourself. Its not human to mimic humanity. The herd is not natural. Its a product of civilization, and civilization has track record of being on the wrong side of history every time. Even time is a product of disassocation from the roots of what we are. We track every moment. We track it and wonder and hold dear each shakey click of the second hand until its sets us free from things we don’t want to do. Things we don’t want to share.
I could break in to the world of many, shatter dreams, shatter noses and push back these slaves until I take what is mine and vanish into the fog. I could rip apart psyches and relationships and bring down scores. I have the power, like you do, to sow seeds of havoc. Standing back and watching it all come down and laugh while it happens. The principles say we shouldn’t. The rules hold us together and keep the house of cards up. People rely on the cards to keep sane. One deck, two decks, seven, twenty-four. Building higher and higher.
I see the sea before me, as I did seven months ago, locked in my own apartment, caged and sedated. I feel the rocks under me. I smell the salt. I see the evergreen and watch the needles sway. I dip my hand in and sip at the liquid I’m told not to drink for fear, deep fear, of making myself sick. The taste is as told, but I drink and drink and drink. I piss out what I knew, back into the ocean, drops back into the source. I could do worse. I could do better. I could always dream and hold it all upon the altar, but I won’t. I wouldn’t. I can’t. It wouldn’t pass. It wouldn’t create or destory. It would just fake that stack of cards and bring another deck upon the fold.
We could all do that. Pass on to the naïve that their mimicing for trim is worth it. Playing cowboy in the 21st century jungle, but I doubt any of those peckerheads could have it in them to pull the trigger when the time came. Not on some cocksucker who rode the train until she wilted and wanted off, but on a true item. Fragrant with emotion and ready to pull you down with her if you can’t hold her up. There are too many reasons why we shouldn’t trust them. There are so many reasons to avoid them. But, we won’t, we shouldn’t. We reap pleasure and fufillment from them. We do what we need to do to survive.
There are no principles in this game. Just actions. Just our wholeness. Forget the puppies at our feet. Let them get kicked and figure out its better to drag her behind him that make her think she’s walking ahead, one dick at a time.