She was my first girlfriend. A year younger. Infatuated with me. I kept her at arms length for a long time. This was before my first time. This was before my first kiss. I had internet girls. I stayed inside. She was the wild one and I was the hapless nerd.
Then I got kissed.
Within a week I called her up, asked her out, just so I could keep up the insane energy and confidence I got from my first make out. It worked, and it didn’t. I was getting action regularly, but my teenage emotions were running me over like a rich wife over her husband. My nerves were always shot. Infamously, she had to pin my hand to her tits when we were watching a movie I was so nerve shot. Over the course of a year, the First and I broke up 9 times and had a total of 6 bouts of sex.
It was pretty bad.
Fast forward from 2002 to 2011.
She’s a mom to two boys from two different guys, both unambitious and lazy. In June, I visit Niagara Falls from Riverside. Two days before I leave, we hang. I make moves, but she resists. She wants the comfort without the sexuality. I push, but it goes nowhere. My game, while past beginner, still needs work.
We hang when I move here and she’s much more receptive. By the second date she’s latched on. I go work in Ohio, come back and she’s fighting the angel on her shoulder as we make out in a park, mentioning she’s never fucked in a car before. Saturday, we’re at her friends house, which she has a key for, and again its hot. Shirts come off. Time flies by. We’re on the couch, the floor, standing. She’s caught between the guy she’s going to leave and the unleashed energy she has deep inside. Her hindbrain wants to ride me, her frontal can’t reason it.
I’m like a rock, coaxing her past the issues, even while she lays topless on top of me. Between short circuits of yes, no, yes, that savage lust she had as a teen returns. I fight her as she grabs my neck and I pin her down, teasing her about how she likes it. She hasn’t seen this in me. She squirms and smiles. Since I’ve been back we haven’t had sex, but we will.
It takes time for some girls, especially if they’ve wound themselves up tightly like the First has. I offer myself as the drug to her problems. Not the next guy, not the new dad, but the heroin she can take and explode in happiness. I don’t hold back in what I want, but I don’t push too hard. Its as much fun bringing her to her kneels psychologically as it is physically.
Its coming into its own now. Naturally.