The most common quip I get when I ask for a girl’s signature on a release form is “You going to make me look good?” The hell, ladies? I’m working, not trying to pick you up. Don’t shit test me.

If I wasn’t working, or didn’t have a New Age hippie 45 year old chick as a director, I may have said “That’s not my department” or “I don’t think those ten pounds really make a difference”. I don’t take shit tests anymore. Not from any girl. I nuke them. (“How many sluts have you slept with?” “Including you… six.”) But since its work and I need these crews to like me to hire be back on later, I slipped this in after the first few times: “I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

Easy. Neutral. They all think its a compliment at first, but I bet you that the ones with image problems ran the hamster. Not a problem? Does that mean I’m pretty or that they can’t make me prettier?

I used to squirt sweat every time I said a line. It was embarrassing twice over. This shit is wired in my head now.

I no longer feel like I’m looking up to my fellows in the manosphere. I feel as if I’m one of many.


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