The last week has been pretty much the least productive week I’ve had in a very long time. And its good. I haven’t felt the need to do anything, and that bothered me because I had things to do. Then I didn’t care. Then, after the week, relaxed, brain dead and motivated, it all came back. Like restarting a computer.

Thanks to my friend Kez, who comments here often, Kay, from the dark days of the break-up and, strangely enough, Simon’s post on alt-anthropology, there’s a new fire to change another part of me, a part largely ignored by the gradual change from beta to alpha: organization.

I’ve always sucked at it. Dirty room. Messy desk. Procrastination ’till the very last second. I’d slide by school and never really apply myself. When I’m on a job, I’ve got to, because my 100% is the minimum needed, and I liked it, but I could never get it to come up on off-hours. Going the extra mile for myself. For simple things. For important things like the book and getting the divorce off the ground Its actually been a year since the she made her intentions known. A year is a long time. A year to grow. A year to change. A year to take hold and a year to get things in motion. If I hadn’t changed, it would be a year wasted. But, thanks to you guys and to family, friends and God (or whomever you believe in or don’t believe in), I’ve been lucky as hell in this worst of worst things.

Time to take the last step. The step I’ve been trying to take since before I knew the Ex, since before I had my first kiss. Time to quit doing things half-assed.


13 responses to “Reset

  1. Thanks for the linkage Jordan and I’m glad I gave you something to think about and maybe a little motivation to boot. I’m so far down this rabbit-hole that I think it’s going to change my entire worldview. I’ve got a couple of more posts coming about these subjects, I think they will be mind blowing. I like the term “alt-anthropology”, I’ll give you credit when I use it as the original person to coin the term.

      • YES… You are correct that I somehow end up meeting a lot of Alphas– but more often than not, I have found that Alpha=A-hole. (Who knows, maybe those guys weren’t doing it right. )

        It also depends on how you define Alpha & Beta. I do want a confident man but also one who can be assertive (not aggressive) and considerate –not stomp all over the me & any other humans near by. *sigh* A good Beta is hard to find. :)

  2. Pingback: One Step, Two Step « Sympathy For The Devil

  3. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Routine Edition

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