Rule #0: Always Be An Asshole

Sometimes you just feel it. The weight of things of the past. And you think you’ll break, and some do. I don’t. The rules have taken effect. Some I know like it, the rest don’t matter. I don’t know how people expect others to live with reminders that they can’t let go of.

Monday was my birthday. I had to work it which was fine I’ve worked for birthdays before. I texted the First saying she owed me birthday sex.

I can’t do that.

What are your legs glued together?

No I have a boyfriend.

I’ll clear out the backseat.

Radio silence after that. She was appalled, but when she texted me the next day asking what was up with that, she ended up apologizing.

I didn’t get birthday sex, but I got something better. Absolute proof.

Never give the upper hand. Never back down. Always be an asshole.


2 responses to “Rule #0: Always Be An Asshole

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