The Brony Fa(gs)d

So fellow blogger Simon Rierdon discovered a horrifying male sub-culture: the Bronies.

Unlike other cartoon fan bases, Bronies are teenage and adult men that watch and… play with… tiny colorful horses meant for little girls.

The First’s oldest kid loves Barbies, but he’s 5. He also loves them because they have tits, not because he can dress her up.

Bronies, on the other hand, have emotional attachents to these characters.

The characters aren’t one-dimensional,” said 15-year-old Christian Leisner, a brony in the Berkeley group. “They have flaws, they have backgrounds they’re ashamed of.”

They’re not the only ones.

It makes me wish for the days of Trekkers. Fuck, it makes me wish Beiber was more popular with men.

I went through shit like this as a kid, but with Star Wars toys. I watch the movies. I’d play with the ships. But instead of wondering what Luke or Leia had in their past, I usually ended up imagining mass murder and giant explosions. PEW PEW BOOOM! AHHHHHHHHH! Hell, I would create complex and deadly plot lines with my Hot Wheels and NASCAR toy cars. I never, ever brought in a tiny horse and said, “Now, how can we be friends!!!!” Bitch would of gotten blasted.

Men need to be men. Just having a dick isn’t enough. Go start a fight. Go fuck something. Just don’t, for the love of all that is manly, play with little horses.